A Little Girl is Burying Her Daddy

A Letter to My Father

Tomorrow is Veterans Day. You always called me on that day. Which is funny to me because you served, too. I think it was an excuse to hear my voice.

I remember a call you made to me on September 11th. Yes, THAT September 11th.

I was not prepared for the sound of your voice to be so full of fear. You are the strongest man I have ever known so as I sat in that parking lot talking to you on the phone, hearing you almost broken, pleading with me not to re-enlist I found myself detaching from my own mind. I felt my fingers dig deep into my truck’s steering wheel. I wanted to hurt something, someone for what was done on that day.

I have to do SOMETHING, dad.

Not that, mijo. Not that.

You knew I was an idealist. And reckless. Not a good combination.

Honestly, how the hell did you stay sane raising me?

I didn’t re-enlist. Between you and me, I am not sure they would have even taken me back. Being invited to leave the military- not kicked out - just told, “we want you to stay, but we’re not sad…