A Breakup Song
I've forgotten what it was in you...
This article is from the original Chicano in Paris recently moved here to its new home.
We could try to live a lie
You’d hate me just the same…
But I’ve forgotten what it was in you
That put the need in me
-Maria McKee
One of those uncomfortable adult conversations one must have during a relationship is letting the other person know when it is over for you. For me that moment is when I stop giving a shit. I will fight like hell to save something I love, but sometimes I get to a point where something hits me like a freight train.
Apathy.
The moment I know it’s over for me is not when I feel like I don’t love someone anymore; it’s over for me when I simply no longer care. I’ve experienced the sensation of not caring anymore with family members, lovers, even friends. Sometimes things run their course. Sometimes something breaks so badly it simply cannot be put back together. I am not sure which of those two it is for me, but I have definitely hit that stage in the relationship where I just don’t care.
The United States decided to get back together with their rapey, abusive ex and I no longer care what happens. I’ve already cancelled one trip back to the states because I have less than zero desire to be there.
Although, my brother has tried to convince me that The Orange Troglodyte™ will not be able to reach his gross, orange tentacles into California. So maybe after it shakes down for a few months I will reconsider and visit the Best Coast. Maybe.
People share news articles with me and I ignore them.
Did you see what Trum-
I don’t give a shit.
But-
I really do not give a fuck.
I have a finite amount of years left on this blue ball. I have a life full of love and adventure and laughter. If the world wants to lose it’s damn mind it is going to have to do it without me. Maybe not forever, but definitely for the foreseeable future.
I’ll be here in Paris writing, working, loving my people as well as I can. That leaves no energy for the unnecessary.
Postscript
It’s the something breaking so badly thing.
If you enjoy my work and want to support it without paying for a subscription might I recommend my store: Protest-Tees
You get to support my work while showing your rebellious side.